we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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