Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
