Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
what the fuck happened to the tacos
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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