Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize