It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
