there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
