You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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