it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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