im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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