fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize