I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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