Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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