please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
