i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
