I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
