I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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