And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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