I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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