Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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