Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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