I heard we made out
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize