addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize