She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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