You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
whose parrot is this?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
