so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
