I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
