i barfeds in our rink
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
