i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize