just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
