Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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