I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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