Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
