O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
