I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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