so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Even my vagina gasped.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
