Where are you?
In a non slutty way
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The uberlube is also flammable
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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