Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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