I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize