Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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