What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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