On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
