You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
