We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize