Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
