no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
