why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
is it fun? or sober?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
