whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
