i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
