I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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