i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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