My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
