took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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