wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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