listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
