I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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