i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
