She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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