Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
