My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
