Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
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