he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
