Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
