I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
