The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
