She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
