do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
